Sunday, May 30, 2010
That Was Fun
With a capital "F"!
I really enjoy reading my poetry to an audience. I knew this last year, when I did the reading (my first) at the PGR pub party. This year I was hardly nervous, just excited. I wanted to read more! Everyone only read the piece that was published this time - last time folks read more. I managed to squeeze in one more, "Yes", simply because I was dying to read it to an audience and this was my only chance.
Carpe diem!
So now I must channel my leftover adrenaline into something writerly and productive - submissions? More blog posts? More poems?
Perhaps all of the above.
Write on,
J
I really enjoy reading my poetry to an audience. I knew this last year, when I did the reading (my first) at the PGR pub party. This year I was hardly nervous, just excited. I wanted to read more! Everyone only read the piece that was published this time - last time folks read more. I managed to squeeze in one more, "Yes", simply because I was dying to read it to an audience and this was my only chance.
Carpe diem!
So now I must channel my leftover adrenaline into something writerly and productive - submissions? More blog posts? More poems?
Perhaps all of the above.
Write on,
J
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Reading Outloud in Front of a Crowd
Yes it is true! Tonight I will be reading my poetry outloud in front of a room full of strangers - with a few friends and family members thrown in for good measure. Gulp.
Actually, I am not nervous...yet. I loved reading last year and am very much looking forward to reading again this year. I have not yet determined what three poems I will be reading, but am pretty close. I definately wan to read "Yes" since it is better read outloud and it should be fun to do. "Self-potrait as a hummingbird" has been requested - twice - so I am going to include that one for sure. The third one is the one I am not sure about. It's a toss up between "New York, circa 1997" and the one that actually appears in the publication. The thing is I read that one last year. I could probably read all four in the three minutes I have, since my work is so concise. ;-)
alright, now that I'm about three hours away from kickoff and am writing and thinking about it the butterflies are waking...Wish me luck!
Read on!
Jess
Actually, I am not nervous...yet. I loved reading last year and am very much looking forward to reading again this year. I have not yet determined what three poems I will be reading, but am pretty close. I definately wan to read "Yes" since it is better read outloud and it should be fun to do. "Self-potrait as a hummingbird" has been requested - twice - so I am going to include that one for sure. The third one is the one I am not sure about. It's a toss up between "New York, circa 1997" and the one that actually appears in the publication. The thing is I read that one last year. I could probably read all four in the three minutes I have, since my work is so concise. ;-)
alright, now that I'm about three hours away from kickoff and am writing and thinking about it the butterflies are waking...Wish me luck!
Read on!
Jess
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Happy Things: Workspaces
Sadly, Dear Reader, this is NOT my new workspace...but I wish it was! Everytime I see this ramshakle wooden building at the UCSC Life Lab I think how much I would like to live there...or at least have a writer's studio!
Jess
Happy Things: Success! Birdhouse Photo Uploaded!
Yahoo, Dear Reader, Yahoo!
I am sooo proud of myself - finally able to upload photos to the blog.
This is a photo of a birdhouse I saw at the UCSC Life Lab garden last week. Like I said, I am not sure why birdhouses make me happy, they just do and for now, that is enough. (However, Ode to the Birdhouse might be a good poetic exercise.)
Off to upload some more photos!
Write On,
Jess
Monday, May 17, 2010
Happy Things: Birdhouses and Workspaces
Hello Dear Reader,
Welcome to a new column/post topic: Happy Things.
Since I have completed the Artist's Way and am transitioning the blog to be more about the successes and struggles of the writing life I am planning to feature some recurring topics. Some I came up with all by my clever lil' self and others are unabashedly cribbed from some of the other blogs I frequent and/or enjoy. (I will give proper credit where due, BTW.)
In any event, and since the oven timer is going off downstairs, Happy Things is making it's debut tonight. The things that make me happy today are birdhouses and workspaces. I got a new workspace!!! It's mine! All mine! I will take photos and post them later. I have some fun birdhouse pictures too.
But now I must run, lest I let dinner burn!
Eat, I mean WRITE on!
Jess
Welcome to a new column/post topic: Happy Things.
Since I have completed the Artist's Way and am transitioning the blog to be more about the successes and struggles of the writing life I am planning to feature some recurring topics. Some I came up with all by my clever lil' self and others are unabashedly cribbed from some of the other blogs I frequent and/or enjoy. (I will give proper credit where due, BTW.)
In any event, and since the oven timer is going off downstairs, Happy Things is making it's debut tonight. The things that make me happy today are birdhouses and workspaces. I got a new workspace!!! It's mine! All mine! I will take photos and post them later. I have some fun birdhouse pictures too.
But now I must run, lest I let dinner burn!
Eat, I mean WRITE on!
Jess
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Things That Make Me Think I Am Not Really a Writer
Dear Reader,
Momma said there would be days like this. In fact, my mom said all the days would be like this. She was a harsh realist.
Sometimes I like to read about other writers to get inspired. I especially like to hear about folks who began writing or were first published later in life. This is so I feel like I still have time.
A Facebook Friend posted this quote from George Eliot - "It is never to late to be who you might have been." (or words to that effect.) It has been recieved with great adoration. This must mean we all wish we were someone else, doing something else, to a certain extent.
Is this a horrible lie we prepetuate to future generations? That you will be something great and unique and you will find great personal and professional satisfaction if you work hard and have a few lucky breaks? Maybe my mom was right, it is better to tell your kids life is difficult more often than not and is a lot of hard work.
Well, I am digressing. The point of this post was to list the things that make me think, sometimes, that I am not a "real" writer. Things like the fact that I can go days without writing and hardly miss it. I always hear writers say "oh I simply MUST write, or I can hardly breathe..." or some such thing. But what about us who have a million other things we "simply MUST" do in our day - like take care of children, clean house, do laundry, grocery shop, cook, feed, clean up, wash, read to, tuck in, pay bills, let the dog out, rinse out the wetsuits, look for a job in case the pink slip isn't recinded this year, be a friend, be a sister, be a daughter, a wife, a mother, and oh yeah, if there is time left be an individual who is fit, relaxed, well-read, interesting and a WRITER too!
I am mad at whoever sold me this bill of goods, but I am madder still at myself for buying it. And not being able to unload it.
Write on if you must. And you simply must.
jess
Momma said there would be days like this. In fact, my mom said all the days would be like this. She was a harsh realist.
Sometimes I like to read about other writers to get inspired. I especially like to hear about folks who began writing or were first published later in life. This is so I feel like I still have time.
A Facebook Friend posted this quote from George Eliot - "It is never to late to be who you might have been." (or words to that effect.) It has been recieved with great adoration. This must mean we all wish we were someone else, doing something else, to a certain extent.
Is this a horrible lie we prepetuate to future generations? That you will be something great and unique and you will find great personal and professional satisfaction if you work hard and have a few lucky breaks? Maybe my mom was right, it is better to tell your kids life is difficult more often than not and is a lot of hard work.
Well, I am digressing. The point of this post was to list the things that make me think, sometimes, that I am not a "real" writer. Things like the fact that I can go days without writing and hardly miss it. I always hear writers say "oh I simply MUST write, or I can hardly breathe..." or some such thing. But what about us who have a million other things we "simply MUST" do in our day - like take care of children, clean house, do laundry, grocery shop, cook, feed, clean up, wash, read to, tuck in, pay bills, let the dog out, rinse out the wetsuits, look for a job in case the pink slip isn't recinded this year, be a friend, be a sister, be a daughter, a wife, a mother, and oh yeah, if there is time left be an individual who is fit, relaxed, well-read, interesting and a WRITER too!
I am mad at whoever sold me this bill of goods, but I am madder still at myself for buying it. And not being able to unload it.
Write on if you must. And you simply must.
jess
Sunday, May 9, 2010
A Watched Pot Never Boils
Or, you can not stop a volcano from erupting. Opposite ideas, same general emotion. i.e. We really are not in any kind of control no matter what we like to think. So there, Dear Reader, that is a fair introduction to my headspace today.
This past week has been a continuation of the punchy week I wrote about last Sunday. I have not been on top of the blog posting - not at all. I want to whine that "The universe is just not cooperating with me!" in my most annoying small spoiled child voice. Shhh, if you listen closely I bet you can hear me.
It's been an up down and all around week. There was a death in the extended family. A wonderful woman, just 59. It was the ten year anniversary of the death of a dear friend which, in some ways, made me wonder where the time went. Mother's Day is rough - I went to see my mom and I can't help but wonder if she will still be here this time next year. She weighs less than 100 pounds. I don't think she recognizes me anymore.
Blech.
The only way out of this for me is to write - which i have been doing - and sleep, which is what I am going to go do now. No good is going to come from this mood I am in tonight.
Write on, people, while you can,
J
This past week has been a continuation of the punchy week I wrote about last Sunday. I have not been on top of the blog posting - not at all. I want to whine that "The universe is just not cooperating with me!" in my most annoying small spoiled child voice. Shhh, if you listen closely I bet you can hear me.
It's been an up down and all around week. There was a death in the extended family. A wonderful woman, just 59. It was the ten year anniversary of the death of a dear friend which, in some ways, made me wonder where the time went. Mother's Day is rough - I went to see my mom and I can't help but wonder if she will still be here this time next year. She weighs less than 100 pounds. I don't think she recognizes me anymore.
Blech.
The only way out of this for me is to write - which i have been doing - and sleep, which is what I am going to go do now. No good is going to come from this mood I am in tonight.
Write on, people, while you can,
J
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Rolling with the Punches
Dear Reader,
It's been a while, I know. I have no excuses, no rationale, just a simple apology, I suppose. I have not been writing my daily pages, though I try. For some reason the past couple of weeks have just been rough.
This is not to say that I have not been writing, because I have. I workshopped a couple more poems last week and I spent quite a bit of time researching where to submit which poems next. Of course, this requires an Excel spreadsheet so I can keep track of what I sent where and when I should either hear back or ping the editors. Read: time suck.
I have also been germinating ideas for poems - scrips (new word, just debuted) and scraps here and there. I love the voice recorder on my phone. Very cool for when I have an idea and am driving and can't write it down. The Muse knows I better commit it to something other than my memory if I want to be able to go back to it. (Note to self: Get back to it.)
I need to do a few things like:
- wrap up the whole Artist's Way thing. Tell you all about my final exercises and my take aways from the experience.
- update my "plan" - you know, the thing I like to spend time creating and then promptly deviating from. Story of my life really. Nonesensical - that's how I roll!
- come up with a new tagline for the blog, since I am esentially finito with the Artist's Way and am on Jessica's Winding, Circular, This Way and That Way Path now.
- schedule a time to meet with my photographer friend so we can shoot a very writerly looking portrait of me for the blog. I am thinking black turtleneck and an espresso, with an intellectually pensive look upon mon visage. What do you think?
This is really only a partial list of shiz I need to do. Right now, in this space and time, however, it is all I can do to just roll with the punches. This seems to be what the universe is telling me to do, so I am going with it.
Finding inspiration and creation in the day to day (and writing on...),
Jessica
It's been a while, I know. I have no excuses, no rationale, just a simple apology, I suppose. I have not been writing my daily pages, though I try. For some reason the past couple of weeks have just been rough.
This is not to say that I have not been writing, because I have. I workshopped a couple more poems last week and I spent quite a bit of time researching where to submit which poems next. Of course, this requires an Excel spreadsheet so I can keep track of what I sent where and when I should either hear back or ping the editors. Read: time suck.
I have also been germinating ideas for poems - scrips (new word, just debuted) and scraps here and there. I love the voice recorder on my phone. Very cool for when I have an idea and am driving and can't write it down. The Muse knows I better commit it to something other than my memory if I want to be able to go back to it. (Note to self: Get back to it.)
I need to do a few things like:
- wrap up the whole Artist's Way thing. Tell you all about my final exercises and my take aways from the experience.
- update my "plan" - you know, the thing I like to spend time creating and then promptly deviating from. Story of my life really. Nonesensical - that's how I roll!
- come up with a new tagline for the blog, since I am esentially finito with the Artist's Way and am on Jessica's Winding, Circular, This Way and That Way Path now.
- schedule a time to meet with my photographer friend so we can shoot a very writerly looking portrait of me for the blog. I am thinking black turtleneck and an espresso, with an intellectually pensive look upon mon visage. What do you think?
This is really only a partial list of shiz I need to do. Right now, in this space and time, however, it is all I can do to just roll with the punches. This seems to be what the universe is telling me to do, so I am going with it.
Finding inspiration and creation in the day to day (and writing on...),
Jessica
Monday, April 26, 2010
Save the Date!
Hello, Hello, Hello!
Save the date - Saturday, May 29th. Porter Gulch Review party and poetry reading! More details to come, but it is at the Cabrillo College Horticulture Center. Beautiful place, beautiful view, fun night. Last year there were artists displaying their work and many talented poets reading. As I have a poem in this year's edition I will have the opportunity to read - and I shall!
Write on!
Jessica
Save the date - Saturday, May 29th. Porter Gulch Review party and poetry reading! More details to come, but it is at the Cabrillo College Horticulture Center. Beautiful place, beautiful view, fun night. Last year there were artists displaying their work and many talented poets reading. As I have a poem in this year's edition I will have the opportunity to read - and I shall!
Write on!
Jessica
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Where, Oh Where Has Jessica Gone?
Where oh where can she be, Dear Reader?
Somewhere out there in the atmosphere trying to convince Mercury to un-retrograde, that's where!
Bonus points if you know what the HECK I am talking about.
Seriously, she'll be back soon. When she returns from her planetary travels she will land in a pile of post-it notes, random scraps of paper, dog-eared poetry books, and voice messages she sends herself while driving to and from work listening to NPR stories about Alzheimer's or Dorothy Height that, for some reason, make her cry.
Eventually she will dig herself out of this mound of odds and ends. Hopefully she will be making sense (again?) by then.
Until then, Dear Reader, reach for the stars and hang on if you catch one!
Write On,
J
Monday, April 12, 2010
Back From the Dead, or Darn, Spring Break Was Fun!
Hello, Dear Reader,
Both of those titles would be appropriate, as it turns out. Spring Break was a blast, even though this time last week I was writhing around in my sweaty pj's feeling horrible and willing myself not to vomit...again. Yuk.
Luckily, the worst part of the flu or exorcism or whatever it was only lasted about 24 hours. I felt significantly better on Tuesday, though it really took all week for my tummy troubles to subside completely. Well, almost completely - my hankerin' for coffee and wine has diminished substantially. I am concerned.
We had company from out of town and good weather for the second half of the week which meant lots of fun stuff to do like go to the Monterey Bay Aquarium , eat good Mexican food, go out to breakfast, wander around and do a little shopping in downtown Santa Cruz, wander along a sunny West Cliff path, lay on the grass, people watch, go to the movies a couple of times, hit the Boardwalk...really, you name it, we did it. So fun for me and the kids had a BLAST. We all found some of our missing much-ness.
The down side of all this fun-having is that there wasn't much daily writing or traipsing down the Artist's Way taking place. So this will be the final week, and I will wrap it all up next Monday. Neatly, with a real pretty bow - I promise.
I did have some inspiring moments and if I can ever get my camera and computer synched up I will share some cool shots with you. I was possessed to write a couple of rough drafts, starts, random thoughts that may turn into something. I have had time to live a little and do some thinking about how to better do that - the living - and make sure I stay healthy, creative and inspired. More on this later, 'cause I know you are interested! LOL!
And one other thing: I WILL be in the 2010 edition of the Porter Gulch Review !!! More details to come, but my poem "Notes to the Gardener" was selected. [insert big cheesy grin here]
Write On,
J
Both of those titles would be appropriate, as it turns out. Spring Break was a blast, even though this time last week I was writhing around in my sweaty pj's feeling horrible and willing myself not to vomit...again. Yuk.
Luckily, the worst part of the flu or exorcism or whatever it was only lasted about 24 hours. I felt significantly better on Tuesday, though it really took all week for my tummy troubles to subside completely. Well, almost completely - my hankerin' for coffee and wine has diminished substantially. I am concerned.
We had company from out of town and good weather for the second half of the week which meant lots of fun stuff to do like go to the Monterey Bay Aquarium , eat good Mexican food, go out to breakfast, wander around and do a little shopping in downtown Santa Cruz, wander along a sunny West Cliff path, lay on the grass, people watch, go to the movies a couple of times, hit the Boardwalk...really, you name it, we did it. So fun for me and the kids had a BLAST. We all found some of our missing much-ness.
The down side of all this fun-having is that there wasn't much daily writing or traipsing down the Artist's Way taking place. So this will be the final week, and I will wrap it all up next Monday. Neatly, with a real pretty bow - I promise.
I did have some inspiring moments and if I can ever get my camera and computer synched up I will share some cool shots with you. I was possessed to write a couple of rough drafts, starts, random thoughts that may turn into something. I have had time to live a little and do some thinking about how to better do that - the living - and make sure I stay healthy, creative and inspired. More on this later, 'cause I know you are interested! LOL!
And one other thing: I WILL be in the 2010 edition of the Porter Gulch Review !!! More details to come, but my poem "Notes to the Gardener" was selected. [insert big cheesy grin here]
Write On,
J
Thursday, April 1, 2010
A Little Ray of Sunshine
Hello Dear Reader,
I am delighted to be able to share the smallest sliver of sunshiney, glistening, hopeful good news with you. As you know from my last post I was feeling quite sad that none of the poems I had recently submitted were accepted for publication or awarded big fat prizes (like $500, which was earmarked for my really cool new MacBook...) :-(
However, just when all hope is lost (that is, specifically, noon on the last day of notification) I received a lovely email from the Central Coast Writers' Group notifying me that - while I did not win the contest (bye bye MacBook dreams...) - my poem "Yes" was a finalist and my name would be included on their website!
Given the dearth of good news in my literary life this month I am pretty happy about this last minute positivity!Also, I am further motivated to send out my poems for consideration in other literary publications. Like I said, I felt I had some strong poems (or I would not have sent them out), but they are stonger still thanks to my poetry revision group (Big whoop whoops to Amber Sumrall and the other wonderful poets in that group.)
So, purple 2010 edition of Poet's Market in hand, I am carefully researching where to send my little fuzzy babies next. Wish me luck!
Write on,
j
I am delighted to be able to share the smallest sliver of sunshiney, glistening, hopeful good news with you. As you know from my last post I was feeling quite sad that none of the poems I had recently submitted were accepted for publication or awarded big fat prizes (like $500, which was earmarked for my really cool new MacBook...) :-(
However, just when all hope is lost (that is, specifically, noon on the last day of notification) I received a lovely email from the Central Coast Writers' Group notifying me that - while I did not win the contest (bye bye MacBook dreams...) - my poem "Yes" was a finalist and my name would be included on their website!
Given the dearth of good news in my literary life this month I am pretty happy about this last minute positivity!Also, I am further motivated to send out my poems for consideration in other literary publications. Like I said, I felt I had some strong poems (or I would not have sent them out), but they are stonger still thanks to my poetry revision group (Big whoop whoops to Amber Sumrall and the other wonderful poets in that group.)
So, purple 2010 edition of Poet's Market in hand, I am carefully researching where to send my little fuzzy babies next. Wish me luck!
Write on,
j
Monday, March 29, 2010
Let's Talk About (Suc)Cess, Baby!
Success...What is it, how do you achieve it, when do you know you have it? It's so much easier to know when you don't.
Story time, Dear Reader, so settle in. About this time last year I submitted some work to a local literary magazine, The Porter Gulch Review . I was surprised to find out one of my poems had been accepted and was to be published in the 2009 edition. It was totally cool and fun and led to my first public reading! I enjoyed the experience immensely.
However, I pretty much pooh-poohed the PGR - basically because they had selected one of my poems to publish. What was it that Groucho Marx said? Something along the lines of he wouldn't want to belong to any group that would have him as a member. Essentially I figured the PGR wasn't much of a literary journal if I got in. (Yes, this is a sad indicator of how low my self-esteem is...)
Imagine how I feel now having submitted several poems for consideration for this year's edition and not having any accepted. Pretty crappy.
I submitted poems to three journals - all of which were to contact selected poets by March 31. Granted, it is only late on the 29th and therefore there are technically another 48 hours...but it ain't lookin' good folks.
Waaaahhhh. :-(
On the flip side (and there always is a flip side) I am a little relieved because I recently workshopped one or two of the poems I had already submitted. Now that I have done more revising they are much stronger poems. And I have every intention of submitting them to other journals. That is part of my on-going plan - keep those freakin' poems in circulation, because sooner or later someone will read them and see the shiny goodness they hold.
In the meantime I am feeling a little disappointed and sad.
I was reading quotes on success and came across this one that, for some reason, I really love:
" Success isn't a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire." - Arnold H. Glasgow
Please pass the matchbook,
j.
Story time, Dear Reader, so settle in. About this time last year I submitted some work to a local literary magazine, The Porter Gulch Review . I was surprised to find out one of my poems had been accepted and was to be published in the 2009 edition. It was totally cool and fun and led to my first public reading! I enjoyed the experience immensely.
However, I pretty much pooh-poohed the PGR - basically because they had selected one of my poems to publish. What was it that Groucho Marx said? Something along the lines of he wouldn't want to belong to any group that would have him as a member. Essentially I figured the PGR wasn't much of a literary journal if I got in. (Yes, this is a sad indicator of how low my self-esteem is...)
Imagine how I feel now having submitted several poems for consideration for this year's edition and not having any accepted. Pretty crappy.
I submitted poems to three journals - all of which were to contact selected poets by March 31. Granted, it is only late on the 29th and therefore there are technically another 48 hours...but it ain't lookin' good folks.
Waaaahhhh. :-(
On the flip side (and there always is a flip side) I am a little relieved because I recently workshopped one or two of the poems I had already submitted. Now that I have done more revising they are much stronger poems. And I have every intention of submitting them to other journals. That is part of my on-going plan - keep those freakin' poems in circulation, because sooner or later someone will read them and see the shiny goodness they hold.
In the meantime I am feeling a little disappointed and sad.
I was reading quotes on success and came across this one that, for some reason, I really love:
" Success isn't a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire." - Arnold H. Glasgow
Please pass the matchbook,
j.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Spring Cleaning
Spring has sprung Dear Reader!
This has to be some of the best news we have heard in a very long time. Last week I was walking on a wooded path in a coastal redwood grove nearby and was thrilled to see the most amazing flowers - tiny purple orbs hanging thankfully on green stalks, hopeful, beastly fern fronds unfurling themselves in the shade, even the poison oak, shiny in its "leaves of three, let them be" glory was something to be thankful for. Spring!
Last week, however, I was extremely ill with some crazy flu-like version of a very bad cold with a side of mucus producing hacking. Felt about as lovely as it sounds. BUT, I decided to put a positive spin on things. Since spring was in the air I decided that being sick, without an appetite, and with feverish nights that left my bedclothes soaked each morning, was a great way to get some physical spring cleaning done. Think of the toxins I got rid of! I had been indulging in too much sugar, too much caffeine, too much bad, processed food. So the sickness imposed semi-fasting and major detox sweat sessions were really a blessing in disguise. I took Friday off and slept all day, in anticipation of feeling miraculously better on Saturday - the Spring Equinox.
Well, Saturday morning didn't exactly live up to it's reputation as a glorious day full of enlightenment and green grandeur, but by Sunday I was feeling pretty good. And I am now on a strict sugar diet (wayyyyy harder to stay on than I thought - further evidence of, ahem, "an issue" perhaps?)
This, Dear Reader, is a perfect segue into my check in for Week 10: Recovering a Sense of Self-Protection. This week, you see, was all about "search[ing] out the toxic patterns we cling to that block our creative flow."
There you have it! What a great way to breakthrough those toxic patterns - get sick! Have limited or no desire to eat, have limited or no desire to sit up and surf the internet (one of my identified blocks), and have limited or no desire to multi-task, be busy just to be busy or really have any interest in getting anything done. Perfect! It its own kind of cosmic slap in the face way getting sick helped me to identify all those bad habits I have that block me.
They are (in no particular order): food (sugar and caffeine, I am talking to you), the computer (yeah Face Book, this means you!), housework (I don't even know what to say in your defense, really. But as soon as I can afford it I am getting a housecleaner - you can count on that!), and "reality" TV (Top Chef, Project Runway, Millionaire Matchmaker - did I just say that out loud? - and those damn housewives - really, why oh why do I get sucked in?!?!?)
OK, we both know I am human - specifically a Jessica - so the simple fact that I have a) identified my time sucking wasting destroying blocks and b) purged myself of their draw for a week does NOT mean I will be able to maintain this abstinence. Nor that I want to, necessarily (so there, bleh.) However, it is important for me to go forward and be mindful about what I am giving up (time with my family, time for my writing) in order to partake in these other, way less meaningful or productive things.
Sugar and Caffeine? Consider yourselves warned.
Write on,
J.
This has to be some of the best news we have heard in a very long time. Last week I was walking on a wooded path in a coastal redwood grove nearby and was thrilled to see the most amazing flowers - tiny purple orbs hanging thankfully on green stalks, hopeful, beastly fern fronds unfurling themselves in the shade, even the poison oak, shiny in its "leaves of three, let them be" glory was something to be thankful for. Spring!
Last week, however, I was extremely ill with some crazy flu-like version of a very bad cold with a side of mucus producing hacking. Felt about as lovely as it sounds. BUT, I decided to put a positive spin on things. Since spring was in the air I decided that being sick, without an appetite, and with feverish nights that left my bedclothes soaked each morning, was a great way to get some physical spring cleaning done. Think of the toxins I got rid of! I had been indulging in too much sugar, too much caffeine, too much bad, processed food. So the sickness imposed semi-fasting and major detox sweat sessions were really a blessing in disguise. I took Friday off and slept all day, in anticipation of feeling miraculously better on Saturday - the Spring Equinox.
Well, Saturday morning didn't exactly live up to it's reputation as a glorious day full of enlightenment and green grandeur, but by Sunday I was feeling pretty good. And I am now on a strict sugar diet (wayyyyy harder to stay on than I thought - further evidence of, ahem, "an issue" perhaps?)
This, Dear Reader, is a perfect segue into my check in for Week 10: Recovering a Sense of Self-Protection. This week, you see, was all about "search[ing] out the toxic patterns we cling to that block our creative flow."
There you have it! What a great way to breakthrough those toxic patterns - get sick! Have limited or no desire to eat, have limited or no desire to sit up and surf the internet (one of my identified blocks), and have limited or no desire to multi-task, be busy just to be busy or really have any interest in getting anything done. Perfect! It its own kind of cosmic slap in the face way getting sick helped me to identify all those bad habits I have that block me.
They are (in no particular order): food (sugar and caffeine, I am talking to you), the computer (yeah Face Book, this means you!), housework (I don't even know what to say in your defense, really. But as soon as I can afford it I am getting a housecleaner - you can count on that!), and "reality" TV (Top Chef, Project Runway, Millionaire Matchmaker - did I just say that out loud? - and those damn housewives - really, why oh why do I get sucked in?!?!?)
OK, we both know I am human - specifically a Jessica - so the simple fact that I have a) identified my time sucking wasting destroying blocks and b) purged myself of their draw for a week does NOT mean I will be able to maintain this abstinence. Nor that I want to, necessarily (so there, bleh.) However, it is important for me to go forward and be mindful about what I am giving up (time with my family, time for my writing) in order to partake in these other, way less meaningful or productive things.
Sugar and Caffeine? Consider yourselves warned.
Write on,
J.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Thought for the Day
“You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.”
― Rosalynn Carter
courtesy of Real Simple
― Rosalynn Carter
courtesy of Real Simple
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Juxtaposition
jux·ta·po·si·tion [juhk-stuh-puh-zish-uhn]
–noun
1.an act or instance of placing close together or side by side, esp. for comparison or contrast.
2.the state of being close together or side by side.
I am in the graceful state of juxtaposition. I am totally happy, excited, inspired and optimistic about life and writing and my place in both. Alternatively, I am 100% relating to the idea of "Stop the world, I want to get off!" I really, truly, madly, deeply want to take a break and lay in the overgrown green grass of spring and watch the clouds go by...for about a week.
Honestly, I think that would make a world of difference.
But we all know that ain't gonna happen! Besides, if it was possible I am assuming I would not be alone on that pretty green overgrown rug o' spring. How many of you would be there with me? Right? Can I get an "Amen!"?
Alright, Dear Reader, let's move on from Jessica in Dreamland and on to Reality with a capital "R". Time for the overdue Week 9 check in.
Week 9, if you recall, was all about "Recovering a Sense of Compassion". The idea was to uncover our internal blocks to creativity, address our past shames and failures as artists and move forward. We were to talk about what makes us afraid - of creating, of success, of failure.
My answer was to create a plan. Hah! How typical of me. Really, I don't have time to hash out all that I have done wrong in the past. I have started and never finished so many projects - too many to list. So let's just move forward, shall we?
I think we can all agree I have a little writer idol worship going on. I think most writers are better than me - more dedicated, more talented, more able, more driven, more focused.
Blah blah blah.
On the other hand, I am feeling pretty excited about working on my project once I am done with the next two weeks of TAW. I am happy with the poems I workshopped at Amber's and the feedback I got. I am looking foreward to workshopping two more this week. I have definately developed a writing habit. One that I feel badly about breaking - that is good. I may not write every day of the week, but I get 5 religiously and usually 6. I have set some realistic creative goals and am making plans to keep myself accountable and on task over the coming months.
I have slacked on the Artist's Date. Maybe I'll take myself out for a leisurely roll in the grass...
Write on,
J.
–noun
1.an act or instance of placing close together or side by side, esp. for comparison or contrast.
2.the state of being close together or side by side.
I am in the graceful state of juxtaposition. I am totally happy, excited, inspired and optimistic about life and writing and my place in both. Alternatively, I am 100% relating to the idea of "Stop the world, I want to get off!" I really, truly, madly, deeply want to take a break and lay in the overgrown green grass of spring and watch the clouds go by...for about a week.
Honestly, I think that would make a world of difference.
But we all know that ain't gonna happen! Besides, if it was possible I am assuming I would not be alone on that pretty green overgrown rug o' spring. How many of you would be there with me? Right? Can I get an "Amen!"?
Alright, Dear Reader, let's move on from Jessica in Dreamland and on to Reality with a capital "R". Time for the overdue Week 9 check in.
Week 9, if you recall, was all about "Recovering a Sense of Compassion". The idea was to uncover our internal blocks to creativity, address our past shames and failures as artists and move forward. We were to talk about what makes us afraid - of creating, of success, of failure.
My answer was to create a plan. Hah! How typical of me. Really, I don't have time to hash out all that I have done wrong in the past. I have started and never finished so many projects - too many to list. So let's just move forward, shall we?
I think we can all agree I have a little writer idol worship going on. I think most writers are better than me - more dedicated, more talented, more able, more driven, more focused.
Blah blah blah.
On the other hand, I am feeling pretty excited about working on my project once I am done with the next two weeks of TAW. I am happy with the poems I workshopped at Amber's and the feedback I got. I am looking foreward to workshopping two more this week. I have definately developed a writing habit. One that I feel badly about breaking - that is good. I may not write every day of the week, but I get 5 religiously and usually 6. I have set some realistic creative goals and am making plans to keep myself accountable and on task over the coming months.
I have slacked on the Artist's Date. Maybe I'll take myself out for a leisurely roll in the grass...
Write on,
J.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
System Reboot
Dear Reader,
I am in a personal purgatory between abject apathy and total motivation. My system is not responding. I need a total system reboot.
Not sure how to make that happen. Been pushing buttons all day long and none of them are quite doing the trick.
You know how when you push the hard reset button it takes a little while for the system to start up again? It just sits there for a minute (hmmm...do you really want me to start up again? don't you need to go pee or grab a cup of coffee or a glass of wine first?) and then, one little program by one little program it begins to come back to life. Always in the same order. Very precise. Very deliberate. Following restart protocol everytime.
Baby steps in the computer world y'all. Means I need to take baby steps on Planet Jessica too.
Baby step #1:When in doubt, make a plan.
I love to have plans - just so I can not stick to them. Makes me feel better somehow. So here's the plan for the next 30 days+:
I am in a personal purgatory between abject apathy and total motivation. My system is not responding. I need a total system reboot.
Not sure how to make that happen. Been pushing buttons all day long and none of them are quite doing the trick.
You know how when you push the hard reset button it takes a little while for the system to start up again? It just sits there for a minute (hmmm...do you really want me to start up again? don't you need to go pee or grab a cup of coffee or a glass of wine first?) and then, one little program by one little program it begins to come back to life. Always in the same order. Very precise. Very deliberate. Following restart protocol everytime.
Baby steps in the computer world y'all. Means I need to take baby steps on Planet Jessica too.
Baby step #1:When in doubt, make a plan.
I love to have plans - just so I can not stick to them. Makes me feel better somehow. So here's the plan for the next 30 days+:
- This week (3/8)
- Complete The Artist's Way Week 9 "Recovering a Sense of Compassion"
- Begin Poetry Revision workshop with Amber Sumrall.
- workshopping 2 poems a week!
- Week of 3/15
- TAW Week 10 "Recovering a Sense of Self-Protection"
- Session 2 Poetry Revision Workshop
- Listen to Lisa Allen Ortiz read at Poetry Speak 2pm, Sunday March 21st at the Santa Cruz Public Library
- Week of 3/22
- TAW Week 11 "Recovering a Sense of Autonomy"
- Have a date with an artist friend (Amy , are you reading this??)
- Week of 3/29
- TAW Week 12 "Recovering a Sense of Faith"
- Celebrate completing The Artist's Way in a splendid and worthy fashion!
- find that special writing table perhaps? a new hot pink journal? a new fancy pen? Throw myself an "I AM a Writer Damnit" party?
- Come up with a new mission and tag-line for the blog, since it will now be about something else - my life as a recovered creative and a writer working on a project!
- Week of 4/5
- Spring Break from the day job! Try not to gloat.
- Spend at least one very late wine fueled night looking through all my half-finished, just barely started stories and poems and decide which ones I want to go back to.
- Begin working on "The Project" in earnest, with intention and dedication and commitment.
- make edits, add new stuff, print out new working copy...Get Busy!
This, Dear Reader, be my 30-day plan.
What do you think?
Feelin' better already,
j
PS: write on!
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