How to Separate the Vinegar from the Vanilla

Dear Reader,

What is it all about? I have been doing a lot of thinking about this, well, forever, really, 'cause this is the kind of thing that keeps me moving forward. Always exploring, trying new things, looking for new solutions. Some of you know this about me. Some of you even know that as much as I embrace this part of my personality I am equally frustrated by it.

Am I really the only one this dissatisfied? Or, am I the only one dissatisfied with being this dissatisfied?

I am talking about work, here, today. "Career" "Life's work" "Job"

Given the state of the world, the pain, the unrest, the uncertainty that appears to be continuing, unabated, for as far as the eye can see...I wonder - "What is truly important?" "What I am working for?"

I think many of us share this concern. For some the answer is that you work to give your family stability. But is money they only means to that end? If we work to pay the mortgage - can we buy a less expensive house? If we work to pay off bills - OK, I see the virtue in that - but we must strive to crave less STUFF.

To consciously simplify is essential to our freedom. To our RIGHT LIVELIHOOD.

I have been thinking about what my story is - what is the history I carry with me, that colors all I think and do and say. What is my purpose? How is it affected by this story I have been told and led to believe all these years. What is my destination? Where do I want to go, end up? And how do I want to get there? On accident? On purpose? In time? Too late?

What do I want to pass on to my children? There is a family legacy here - but is it worth passing on? Should I be more conscious of what it means and how it may affect them? Do I edit it for them?

What am I working for?

I believe my purpose is to be present. to experience life - through my own actions and through witnessing the lives of others. to honor and share those experiences honestly through my writing.

I believe my purpose is to put pen to paper, finger to keypad, thought to ink. To imagine, to dream, to represent, to stand up, to speak with my voice and my words, to be and be honest.

Where will this take me? How can I reconcile my desire to write and share and behold experience with a very real need to take care of my family? to contribute?

Where am I going with this? I am not sure.

But I am on my way...and that is all I got right now. Join me.

jessica