I do not like my belly.
In fact, it may even have taken the first place spot on the "Things I Do Not Like About Myself" list. Even above my slothful nature, and how I withdraw when I am stressed out.
This is how my belly used to look:
Perhaps this partially explains why I have issues with my belly. However, if that were the case I would likely have issues with all of my body...oh, wait....
In any event, once upon a time my belly (and the rest of my body) looked like that. Needless to say it doesn't any more, which is perfectly natural and to be expected, I know. I am twice the age now that I was when that photo was taken (by my longtime and extremely gifted friend Alannah Avelin) and I have also given birth to two lovely humans.
These are the humans I grew in that once upon a time flat, carved, belly. Totally worth it, really. I mean, if you asked me to give them up and have my flat belly back would I take you up on your offer? Hell No! I know that. I also know women who have had more children than I have who have their flat bellies back, so I guess I can't "blame" it on the miracle of life. Maybe the miracle of making water into wine is a more likely villain. Hmmm....shall I pour a glass of wine so we can discuss?
There is another reason I should love my belly -- other than it was home to the munchkins and it gives me joy to fill it with good food consumed in the company of good friends and loved ones.
And this is it:
This is my gorgeous, lovely, funny, smart, independent, adventuresome little sister.
She needs a kidney.
Guess what I have in my belly? Yup, a matching one!
So, before we know it, one of my kidneys will be taken out of this belly, and put into hers. It will greatly improve her quality of life and should not adversely affect mine. Except for the fact that I can't play contact sports, so my dreams of being a star rugby player are dashed, but hey, it's a small price to pay. And I'll be really, really sore for a couple of weeks, but they promise me some good pain meds, so there is that to look forward to.
And guess what, that belly up there? The one with no scars? Well, it's going to be less than the less than perfect it already is now, because it will have scars. Life-giving scars.
That belly is like a woman...life giving, stretched, contracted, full of pain and stress and joy and hope and LIFE, so much life...so freakin' essential.
I'm working on loving my belly. My round, soft, life-giving belly.
Oh Belly, I love you just the way you are and for all you do.
I'm going to keep saying that. Everyday. Over and over and over.
With a Belly Full of Love,
Jessica
PS: It's good to be back.
