Well, here we are at the end of two-week-long week 5. Week 5, if you recall, was "Recovering a Sense of Possibility." I, once again, (I told you you would begin to notice some patterns...) took the liberty of mulling, chewing, masticating (same thing, I know...sheesh!) and stewing in the deliciousness of this subject for an extra long time. Two weeks. Honestly, I think I could have milked even more out of it for another week, it was that good!
I have to say "Yes!" I do feel a bit better, I do believe there is possibility out there, I do believe I have a shot at writing a lot, writing well, writing for publication, getting paid to write and then even being able to call myself a writer without making scrunchy face. Because really, Scrunchy Face is no bueno.
Week 5, I was warned, would find me "...examin[ing] the cost of settling for appearing good instead of being authentic. You may find yourself thinking about radical changes, no longer ruling out your growth by making others the cause of your constriction." Now, I don't know what specifically Cameron was referring to, but I like to think that finally cutting my hair super short again (after 10 years of pretending to grow it out) can be stretched to fit into the "radical" category (Hey, I'm talking Baby Steps here people!) I think of myself as a short haired person. Others still think of me as a short haired person even though it had been a decade since it was short. This is just a part of who I truly am, right? Right.
Another concept that Cameron brought up in Week 5 is the idea of "creative solitude." Creative solitude is an absolute requirement for the Artist (caps mine.) She says, "An [A]rtist must have downtime, time to do nothing. " I find that time not only hard to come by, but when I am presented with a snippet of time where I might actually do nothing I am unable to sit still! How vexing! To crave something so deeply and strongly and then not be able to actually do it (or NOT do it, more accurately) when given the opportunity.
It's creative constipation!
I could easily spend an entire week on the concept of creative solitude, why we artists need it and how we are able to so easily and readily high jack it from ourselves. Because really, that is what we are doing. High jacking ourselves with guilt and a laundry list of shoulds and, well, laundry! Or sweeping, or paying bills, or cleaning the frickin' toilet. How have we (and of course, I am talking about myself here) gotten to the point where scrubbing the toilet is more important than taking 15 minutes to sit and watch the clouds go by outside, or the rain fall, or the flames of the fire?
I am ranting a bit here. I realize I have gone off the Week 5 path a bit, but I also think I have - by engaging in unrehearsed blogging- uncovered a spot I need to write more about. Maybe all this vinegar (ahhh yes....now it begins to make sense, doesn't it?) is a clue. So I am going to cut this blog short - because I could go on and on about Week 5, there is soooo much good stuff up in here - and take this rant off-line, go dig a little deeper, see where it leads me.
In the meantime, I will leave you with this gem of wisdom courtesy of Toni Morrison, and printed in The Artist's Way:
"We are traditionally rather proud of ourselves for having slipped creative
work in there between the domestic chores and obligations. I'm not
so sure we deserve such big A-pluses for that."