I feel like I have always been busy, or always had so many things I wanted to do, get done, check off my list. I have had this feeling on a daily basis as well as in life in general.
Lately I have slowed down. I am slow. I'm inactive and yet it feels OK.
im not writing
im not going to the gym
i'm not doing anything regularly
im ok resting
This feeling is different.
It still stresses me out a little bit to not be doing, to be inactive in all ways, but it feels right.
I feel like I need to become completely still in order to move forward.
I don't know what that means or what it looks like or what it will look like, but that's how it feels - like I just need to stop spinning in order to move forward with any sort of real direction...even though I don't know what that direction is right now.
So even though it feels counterintuitive and it feels wrong compared to what everybody else is doing and it feels strange it still feels right to just slow down and be still.
so that's what I am aiming for I guess.
at least today.